Overview:
Born in the black-site laboratories of an unnamed alphabet agency, the RainForce 9000™ is the apex of personal atmospheric defeat systems. Whether you're breaching a suburban coffee shop or conducting a clandestine grocery run in hostile weather, this unit delivers unmatched Overhead Tactical Superiority.
Key Features:
🛡 Quick-Deploy Action Lever™ –
Activated by a patented one-finger battle stance, the RainForce 9000 deploys in under 0.3 seconds — faster than your ex’s excuses.
💧 HydroDeny™ Polymer Canopy –
Repels rain, sleet, tears, and weak vibes. Nannercoated for advanced moisture redirection. Water touches it, and it taps out.
👤 Rapid Concealment Cloak Mode –
Instant vertical cover to avoid eye contact, drone surveillance, or inconvenient social interaction. Pairs flawlessly with tactical khakis and dead eyes.
 
Specs:
Diameter: Classified (but yes, it’s bigger than yours)
Weight: Light enough for EDC, heavy enough for respect
Weather Rating: Level 4 Moisture Hostility
 
One size
Canopy diameter (when open), in
48.00
Shaft length (when folded), in
20.50
Shaft length (when open), in
30.00